Several Things High on the WTF Scale

There are some things that simply cannot be contained on the WTF scale of one to ten. Here are three things wrong with the world, and they need a special mention.

The Hills
MTV has been bringing the world “The Hills” for six seasons now. Thankfully this month the whole sad thing came to an end. Entertainment Weekly calls the show a “new classic”, which I think must mean that Entertainment weekly has been taken over by skeletal, Chihuahua-toting blondes with all the IQ of pocket lint. I would give The Hills, on a scale of WTF, a resounding ten. Mainly because I don’t understand how anyone watches this faux-reality snooze fest without their brain cells taking on the consistency of porridge. The big question is how will Orange County keep up its growing reputation as a huge joke if The Hills is no more? At least they still have “Real” Housewives. And we can continue to look forward to seeing Heidi Montag and her ever-expanding…assets, in the trashy magazines that so many of us read. What testament to this world’s colossal stupidity will come next? Right now someone is dreaming up the next generation of Barbie-like celebrities to stupefy society’s seventeen-year-olds, you can count on it.

KFC Double Down Vs. Friendly’s Grilled Cheese Burger Melt
This gets a ten on the WTF scale, which is only surpassed by the eleven on the Gross out Factor Scale. You may have seen KFC’s new culinary confection, which consists of cheese and bacon sandwiched on either side by chunks of delightfully greasy fried chicken. No bread or bun involved in this particular creation. One can only wonder if they have paramedics standing by. Next up on the list of weapons of mass constipation, is Friendly’s Grilled Cheese Burger Melt.
Essentially it’s a burger, but instead of a bun on either side, it’s made out of two grilled cheese sandwiches. As Steven Colbert reports, “It’s like your lunch and two other people’s lunch having a three-way.” This genius idea boasts a calorie count of 1500. Just in case society isn’t fat enough already.

BeatifulPeople.com
This particular website is off the WTF scale. It doesn’t get anymore WTF inducing then this. It’s essentially a site you can go to to “judge and be judged”. A collection of “beautiful people” who are interested in dating other “beautiful people”. There was some recent outrage when hundreds of people were kicked off the site after gaining a little holiday weight. In response to the concern, Robert Hintze, founder of the site, is quoted as saying, “Letting fatties roam the site is a direct threat to our business model.” One can only hope he is sat on one day by a very large man. The sight has an “applicants” section, and further exploration leads you to pictures of women and men who are “getting in” and a second category equivalent to the wall of shame labeled, “not getting in”. The site creators have boasted about having a “strict ban on ugly people”. It’s almost impressive how Beautifulpeople.com has taken shallow to an all new level. They have created a sister site for people looking for “sexy sperm”, for people who would like to, but are unable, to produce a traffic-stopping beautiful child. Hintze has to say on the matter, “Initially we hesitated to widen the offer to non-beautiful people. But we can’t be selfish with our attractive gene pool.” Never mind that these sperm donors, who are so generously stooping to offer their sperm to us regular people, probably have all the personality and charisma of a piece of toast. At least my kids will have nice pronounced cheek bones. Personally I think the solution is kidnapping Robert Hintze and his posse of beautiful people, holding them down and forcing them to eat Double Downs and Grilled Cheese Burger Melts until they no longer fit the qualifications of their own website. Feel free to mosey on down to Beautifulpeople.com’s sister site: BiggestDouchebagsEver.com